Evolution or Regression

After a hiatus spent focusing on music, healing, and personal growth, City Girls Decoded is back with one of its most personal episodes yet. 💕

In this episode, Morgan Chanel opens up about evolution, emotional regression, heartbreak, healing, boundaries, and what growth REALLY looks like behind the scenes. From navigating isolation during transformation to discussing public relationships like Khloé & Lamar and Offset post-divorce, this conversation dives deep into the difference between changing aesthetically versus truly healing emotionally.

This episode is raw, reflective, funny at moments, and filled with real conversations about love, grief, discipline, self-awareness, and outgrowing old versions of yourself.

Because everybody talks about the glow up… but don’t nobody talk about what it cost. 💋

🎙️ City Girls Decoded – where raw conversations meet real growth.

New episodes every other week. Don’t just listen—decode with us.

Follow & subscribe:

📲 Instagram | TikTok | YouTube | Spotify | Apple Podcasts

#CityGirlsDecoded #CGDPodcast #RealTalkUnfiltered

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:14

Hey girl killers. What the fuck is up? What's popping? Oh my god, I miss you guys so much. So much you gotta get into. I've been busy. I know we took like kind of unexpected hiatus, but bitch, I'm like, we're gonna talk about that. You know you're gonna put out some new music. The EP Evolution is out. So make sure y'all go listen to that. We're gonna get into that a little bit more later in the show. We'll talk about that. And yeah, everybody, what's up? Y'all ready to evolve? Because tonight we're gonna talk about evolution or regression. And I feel like I've been feeling over the last couple of months, I've been dealing with, you know, a lot of evolving in my personal life, but also I feel like around me, I've kind of been seeing something, some people seem to be regressing, and you know, we're gonna get into that. If you follow us on Instagram at City Girls Decoded, you know that I've kind of been getting into the whole the low down on Monga Chanel of it all, you know, the kind of the gossip, the blog, the celebrity blog, the the and two stories that were really I hope like really resonated with me. I did a story about offset. I did a story about, you know, offset had ended up getting shot in Florida a couple of months ago, and it came out that he was like really dealing with this like big gambling debt. Like, you know, it was like a whole rabbit hole offset and oh all these people money and him having a gambling problem and whatever. But that kind of got me to thinking, like, you know, like how people don't necessarily like you know, like evolve after a situation ends, or you know, when when you expect them to get better, they actually regress. So we're gonna talk about that, and also I'm gonna talk about the Chloe and Lamar Odom a bit all. We're gonna talk about that too because that was crazy. I don't know if you guys ended up seeing the little documentary on Netflix that Lamar Odom and he OD'd and he I'm telling you, like this is why, like, no shame. You cannot, you gotta leave them niggas where the fuck they at. You really do because he really got up there and trying to play, like, try to play my sister like she, like, you know what I'm saying? Like she she she ain't held his ass down. Like, but we're gonna get into that too a little later, but what's up with y'all? What y'all been up to? Like, what's up, uglys? We need to catch up. I feel like because life has been life and like it really has been life, excuse me. Life has been life in like and honestly, I feel like the time that I took off, I really needed that. I really needed that time to kind of decompress, and you know, I've been recording music, you know, working on myself, trying to just evolve creatively, mentally, emotionally, physically, like, and honestly, sometimes growth, like you really need to like isolate yourself from people, from situations, from the outside world, just be by yourself, and that's what I did. I took some time just to just be by myself and work on myself, and honestly, I'm sorry about that. Y'all y'all know, y'all already know where like it's it's it's Saturday night, they are with the little fucking buggies. I already know it. Sideboard because like, why the fuck do y'all do that? What what's the purpose of getting a car and then putting all that stupid dumb loud shit on? I that really irks my nerves anyway. Growth, growth, remember, be evolving, so but no, like sometimes you really do need to like isolate yourself from a situation or from situations, from people, whatever, the outside world, whatever, and take some time and get to know yourself, work on you, and I promise you, you will accomplish so much. I feel like that's something that I really need to do often. I'm gonna do it like for like a year, just be isolated, like motherfuckers don't know what I got going on, you know what I'm saying? My thing, I feel like my thing is I'm too I like social media too much. Like I'm I'm always on socials. So I feel like that's probably why, like that's probably why I fuck at that. But I wanna just because I feel like when I do that, like even when I just fall back from people and just like I get so much done. I get like I I pop out, I do like I've accomplished so much since then, you know what I'm saying? You get me? Like, yeah, do y'all understand what I'm saying? Like you I feel like like since I since we last spoke, like not necessarily us, but just in general. Like I've accomplished so much since then. This person, I don't know if it's the same fucking, if it's the same fucking car, but it's it's really archives because like bitch, why it sounds horrible. Take that shit to me. I feel bad for the neighbors because I would fucking complain. But you know so in my little height is I asked myself, like, who am I becoming for real? Like, who am I really becoming? Who was Mogashine becoming? I feel like one thing I realized during this time, everybody talks about the glow up. I feel like everybody talks about the revenge body, you know, I look good, whatever, whatever, the success. Everybody posts the money, everybody talks about the new beginnings, but nobody talks about what growth actually costs, you know what I'm saying? Like, like what growth costs, and no funny shit, it can cost a lot sometimes. You just gotta be willing to accept that, and your growth gotta mean more, like you know what I'm saying? Like, because sometimes growth means, like I said, cutting people off, and not necessarily because whatever, whatever, or it's it's bad blood, but it's just what it takes in that moment, you know what I'm saying? That's what you need to do in that moment. You need to isolate yourself, and everybody's not going to understand that, I feel like. And and in the process, you're gonna lose people. So we're gonna talk about you know those situations and some things, whatever. Like, let's really talk. Let's have like have y'all ever outgrown a version of yourself. I feel like I've honestly recently outgrown the old version of Morgan, Morgan Chanel. Like, I I'm she's she's no longer here. Like, I feel like I'm a whole new trying to carry myself as a in a whole new light. And I feel like some people they don't see that for you. They make you know your friends or whatever, like they don't see that version of you, they always see the old version, he ha ha ha. But that I mean, she's still there, but that version is not at the forefront right now. We are trying to elevate and you know what I'm saying, get to a different get to a how you say we're trying to get to a we're trying to get to a fucking better part of the you know I'm saying like a life. We're trying to get to a more elevated stage, we're trying to elevate ourselves, we're trying to do shit that motherfuckers probably never dreamed of doing. I know I am, I have I have asked, excuse me, yeah. I hope and I hope y'all got y'all wine, got your little drink, you know. It's it's it's a Saturday night for me. But by time y'all get this, it's gonna be Tuesday, and I don't give a fuck. Honestly, you just got home from work, bitch. Roll you up, a little something, pull your glass of wine, and let's talk, let's have a conversation, you know what I'm saying? But that's what I'm just saying. Um like people are not really ready for the elevated version of yourself, they always expect you to be at this one level in life, and when you decide to be to do many and better things, some people kind of are kind of go on guard, like, oh and I feel like sometimes they feel like if they acknowledge, if they don't acknowledge the new version of you, and they acknowledge, they continue to acknowledge the old version of you that the old version that that new version of you won't exist. But bitch, mean, I bitch like me. I hope you're never gonna fucking stop my shot because like I was like I truly believe in my heart of hearts that I was destined to be something like in like a household, like let me tell you. So when I was younger, I had this dream of me coming down like this grand staircase. I almost said a rear kind of dream, and I had on like a a red sparkling gown, and it's like I was coming down, and as I was coming down, at the bottom, and everything happened for me, like and ever since then I knew bitch, you gonna be in my fucking star one day, and honestly, I need to get to a point where I realize that my friends, all the people, those people that's not my audience, you know. When I look at the stats, and when I look at the like analytics and shit for my podcast, like it's people listening to me in Europe and China, like I don't even I don't know, I don't know nobody in Europe or China, but shout out to all of y'all, all four, five, six, seven of y'all that's over there listening to me. Thank you. I appreciate it. And I need to like really own in more on that instead of worrying about the motherfuckers who ain't who's you know what I'm saying, like who ain't supporting. But anyway, you don't even react the same. I'm like certain shit, it's like you just don't react the same no more. Certain conversations like they train you. Certain people feel heavy. I had a situation with that where it's like I just a friend of mine, I just had to because she just was making me feel heavy, and honestly, I feel like we're not gonna really get to that, and it's I feel like and this is weird because sometimes growth feels lonely before it's such fun of a warning, because honestly, and that's my thing because uh I think Beyonce got a phone called Scared or Lonely or something like that. Like that's me, and that's like me, I feel like that was me and my relationships, like my love life and my friendship lies because I thought I just always need someone to talk to or whatever. I'm a scorpio, we always need someone to talk to or shit like that, but I'm starting to realize that fuck that fuck that because you don't even realize like how motherfuckers get into the industry and they don't really have the friends that they grow with, or you know what I'm saying, or people it's like really like they more so have like or they're not even in not even tech getting in technic out. Say if you go to college, right, and you become an engineer. The friends that you had growing up from around the way, your friends that you know that you ran the street system, like I feel like they don't really have those friends no more because like it's like I don't know, is it because they can't not relate to certain things anymore? It's like they elevated and you see, you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know, things change maybe things people don't have things in common anymore, and you just outgrow people, and that's fine. I feel like that's fine, like that's fine, but it does feel lonely. You so you fight for those relationships, you know, like you you don't really want to don't like you fight. I say that to say like you fight for those relationships, right? I know me, I do like you know, I don't really want to come out of friendships over that kind of people just don't be understanding because this is who I'm becoming, and either you're gonna support it or not, because I feel like I can't. I know that I'm going places and I know shit is gonna pop off. I feel like when it does, I just I don't want nobody around me that did not support me. That's how I feel. Um, but and another thing, you know, why don't I tell you healing is warren? It really is because it's sometimes healing is just you. It's just you. You're taking the time for you, you know what I'm saying? Like so it's just you, it'd be like a lot, a lot of thoughts, a lot of your inner thoughts. That's an important me. I try to I think this is why I ended up recording the EP because out of four. I decided to write. And I wanted to tell people my stories. I wanted to get in the booth, man. I wanted to let it know how I was feeling. So yeah. I thought you gotta kinda you gotta kinda do something with that pour them. You can't just sit there and soak in it. You gotta get up and do something because if you don't, bitch, yeah, you gonna be fucking do something, do something with it.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Like have fun now.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

When I say have fun, bitch, I don't mean go out there and be reckless and do the dub shit, you know. But you know, go, you know, have fun, do some shit, do you know what I'm saying? You want to go back to school, do cancer, you know what I'm saying? Gence is something that you truly want to do, or you truly wanted to do. I really wanted to I really wanted to do a podcast and I really wanted to do music. I wanted to like music has always been like passion and mind since I was a child, and unfortunately, I felt like nobody really helped me nurture that as a child, but hey, and life happened, but I feel like now I'm at the age or I'm at this I'm at the point in my life where I can nurture myself and do things on my own, you know. Yeah, honestly and truthfully, I feel like bitch, it's nothing but uh for me, so I'm happy about that. Like, no for real, but um sometimes you laugh. It's like you know, you laugh, you have no choice but to laugh at the situation, but staying home, drinking water, blocking people, mind their business, meanwhile, toxicity is vacation, natural, and natural outfits, and a section of reservations, it's like you feel me?

SPEAKER_01 20:48

Okay, that's just that's what I had to say on that, like forever.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

I'm I'm really seeing that I took the time to like you know get sent on me because or not even took the time to get sin on me, but I took the time to love me and nurture me. It was honestly it was so good. It was so good, and it really I really feel like I evolved like as a person like the person I was a year and a half ago, two years ago at this time, and bitch I was so fucking miserable and fucking fat and swollen. Uh that's another story, but for real, like my friends that know me that especially my friends could tell. Like damn, you know, I came a long way. And sometimes I I I I really I really want to be like, bitch, like yeah. Anyway, but let's talk about my music, evolution, and what that is to me. What evolution is to, you know, to me. I feel like honestly, music pulled me into myself deeper, like deeper into myself. Working on evolution, recording, writing, being vulnerable, creates creatively, and honestly. I got so many songs that like there's only like seven songs on the on the record, right? On the EV, it's only like seven, seven songs. But I came up with so much shit that I wish I I wish I had a like, I wish I really like sometimes being independent is great, I guess, because it's like when you get that one record, you know what I'm saying, it that shit blows up is like it's all you. Yeah, because it's all I don't want to take a step on it. But it's hard, especially being grown and having bills to pay and having to go to work. You still like you know you want to get I'm even wanting to go to the studio and record every single song like be in a studio from Sunday to Sunday. Nothing like if I had like a label with somebody, like I could do that, but I don't so it's just me. I'm recording when I can. Yeah. But I came up with so much material, and I was really feeling like I was really feeling, yeah, I was coming through it. I was coming through it. Y'all already know the story. If you've been listening, I know the nigga that took me through there took me through the air like and I find it now. But two years ago we each other. Oh, but I was fine, but being I feel like it was me to slow down and really pay attention, so we're emotionally, honestly, because sometimes we think we evolve and just because our lifestyle changes, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually, like sometimes people are operating from pain, and that's real talk. That's really what I want to talk about tonight. Evolution versus my question, because heartbreak, success, fame, loneliness, trauma can either grow people or completely expose the part of themselves that never hang up. So I'm gonna go ahead and jump into the lowdown with you now.

SPEAKER_00 26:12

Um anyway about that.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

And honestly, so I wouldn't honestly watching certain people publishing lately made me think about this even more.

SPEAKER_00 26:44

Like hold on you guys, give me one second.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

Um I fucking look at the charger, like I wouldn't fucking care with a guy's shape, but anyway, let's get back into it. So like I said, honestly watching certain people publicly lady made me think about this even more. Like, for example, Kobe Kardashian and this nigga Lamar hold on, like that situation always made me think about how hard it is to let people who change your life like to let them go. Like how hard it is to let them go. Cause I said like I feel like because sometimes women don't miss the man, they miss the potential they saw him. I don't necessarily think that was the case for Chloe, but I feel like she just a person that is just so loving and you know what I'm saying, so she's just like so loving and so caring that she needed to be there for this nigga. And she he really got up there and act like he couldn't believe like he didn't believe that his father was ready to take him off of life support and leave him for that.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

Like Kobe was just gonna lie about that. Like my thing is I like like like no share, she's probably called out of shit. Like, I feel like you're Lamar Ellie Lamar, I don't photo, like what do what do?

SPEAKER_02 29:04

Like what you know what I'm saying? Like he really tried to act like he wasn't trying to play Miss Mamas and all she was thinking about was saving your ass. And then after all of that, after you was dead, you know what I'm saying, and they they fucking you know, like whatever, like this nigga was still in this lady house smoking crack. This is why you cannot be good to these niggas, like you know what I'm saying. I was like, yo, Chloe, I really felt bad for her because she didn't have to do that, you know what I'm saying? And you do that because you love somebody, like that's love. You don't do that because you know what I'm saying, like that's not something that you do for a fucking photo app or whatever, like that's that's what you do, you do that because you love somebody, you know what I'm saying? Like that's what that's about and for him to get up there and shit on that lady like that was just so disrespectful to me. I'm sorry, it must. It was so disrespectful to me because why you didn't have to say any of that. I feel like that was so it was wrong. He had to go there, the model really showed his ass and fuck him for that. It was like to love somebody through pain, through addiction, through chaos, through embarrassment, hoping eventually the love that is gonna save them. And that shit don't. That shit don't because I dealt with that. Like a motherfucker, that nigga was a fucking alcoholic. Lord Jesus. I don't know what's going on out there. Saturday night. Walking up Saturday night in LA. You never know what you're gonna get. But um that nigga, and I tried to love that nigga regardless and just imagine they're gonna crack it.

SPEAKER_00 32:05

Go there, go say I feel like he is his a fucking piece of shit for that and let's talk about let me ask y'all something.

SPEAKER_02 32:39

Can y'all like survive love with your like addiction, public humiliation, like shit like that? Like, like and let's not forget these people were married, like they they this is not just you know what I'm saying, like boyfriend or friend of like they were married. Her husband. So I feel like before we get out here and motherfuckers try to talk shit and be funny, you bitches is out here getting humiliated, embarrassed by these fucking drug addicts. They may not be on crack, but they on that other shit. And that's she may be daddy. You got my two kids by this bum, so don't kid them, not too much on Khloe. You know what I'm saying? I'm just saying. But can you could you survive that? Like, like if if you were Kobe, like is that something that you could, you know, survive a situation where they'd be able to get to go? Let me know.

SPEAKER_01 34:11

You know, sometimes heartbreak doesn't help people.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

I feel like sometimes it exposes wounds that never really healed in the first place. And honestly, I feel like that's what someone might talk at. Shadows are upset. Yeah. Because one thing I noticed after public breakups, people automatically assume freedom equals happiness, and that's not always true. Like, especially with offset, because I feel like it seems like after him and Cardi separated and officially divorced, all this shit started coming out about him, and he just was on a travel spiral. He was on a lot. Like, bro, you fighting, he they said he was fighting the next little TJ. Why are you fighting these little ass boys? And little TJ, why are you talking so much? Like, that's another story. Because I just feel like what is like you want a whole press line about getting, you know, have a couple upside. That's so childish. Oh my god, what's going on? Like a lot of please. Yeah. Like I said, it's LA, it's this Saturday night. We never know what the fuck is going on.

SPEAKER_00 35:56

Like it's not really gonna tell you.

SPEAKER_02 36:02

No. That's so childish. Like grow up. You had a fight, but and then offset you. Why you owe why you why you owe this man money anyway? And then you owe niggas money for gambling, and then like you owe the casinos money, like it's a lot, and then that got me as you know what I'm saying, like, oh, then you want a party to pay this and this and that, and then it's like, what's going on?

SPEAKER_01 36:40

It sounds like you spiraling to me, like money doesn't.

SPEAKER_02 36:53

I feel like money don't always protect people emotionally, since it doesn't always protect people emotionally, definitely don't. You know, sometimes hobby really destabilize people, and I feel like especially in niggas like offset, you can sit here and act like you don't care, whatever, whatever, but you're you're mad that Cardi is moved on with Stefan, she has a baby, like once the baby came, you already, it was like, oh, it's like that's nothing, that's nothing. Like that's it. It was not more. Why do y'all why do niggas play like y'all will play for y'all play ninety-nine percent of the relationship soon as it hit ninety-nine point nine nine nine, and it's supposed to be a hundred and it's bitches moving on? Oh no, nigga, you have all this time to get it right, but you did not. And then y'all here fucking running about.

SPEAKER_01 38:21

I was like, come on. What the what the fuck is that about? Offset.

SPEAKER_02 38:35

You gotta get together. No shame. You do offset, please. I I see you in play rolls in the studio. That's great. Work on music. I love that. I love Mikos. Like, so you know what I'm saying? Unfortunately, Takeoff is not here anymore with us for some pieces, but I I would love to see what you and Quakeo cook because I love Mikos, like Migos is the time and take me back to the young Rashid days. And I'm here for whatever y'all got cooking up. But all that other shit that you got going on in your person, like like all that, oh a motherfucker's money ain't getting school for me, and like that's good. Because, you know, um I think sometimes people confuse good question with people with somebody being crazy, and you know, they're like when they're really hurting. Cause that's like I said, I feel like you're hurt, like you're hurting, you're spiraling, like and he's really avoiding himself. So I'm gonna talk, I'm gonna transition into like street love diaries. And let's talk about have y'all ever watched somebody completely change after a heartbreak, like they were one person before the heartbreak, and then after they just totally another different person, like did they evolve or did they regress? Did they become colder, more reckless, more toxic, more distant, or did they or did they use the pain to actually make themselves better? And honestly, I had to look at myself too. During this hiatus, I became more intentional, more productive of my peace, more protective of my peace, more disciplined, more aware of who and what drains me, honestly, because that was like a big part of it. I just put energy into motherfuckers that don't really want my energy or deserve it, you know? So I'm like I'm done with that and growth will really make people uncomfortable. Especially people who benefit from the version that you guys have boundaries. I said that earlier. But I'm a keeper bitch. Y'all keep my mama, what I told you about, like I'm really be saying the same shit, just in different ways, you know what I'm saying? Because I'm saying it for the girls in the front and the back and the middle too, so y'all can get it.

SPEAKER_01 42:31

But that's not that's neither here nor there.

SPEAKER_02 42:36

Um because that leads me into my next talking point reflex. Because I feel like let's be honest, everybody say they want a heal person to the healing changes access to you. You get it? Some people only like you when you're either easy to control, easy to manipulate, easy to emotionally train, and that's real. That's real. And I think the hardest part about evolution, excuse me, is grieving old versions of yourself. Sometimes healing costs really. Relationships, sometimes growth, isolation. Sometimes evolving means leaving survival me behind for the first time in your life. So whether you're evolving, rebuilding, healing, or just trying to survive this season of your life. I want y'all to fucking give yourself some grace, you know, bitch, because shit.

SPEAKER_01 44:50

It's hard. You know? It's fucking hard.

SPEAKER_02 44:58

Like, like I said, that should be boring sometimes. And I know we we like old habits that hard, right? You want to fall back into those old habits, but I'm telling you, it's so much better when you really like beloved and especially like I said, like use the time to get on you, do shit that you always wanted to do, and things that will benefit you in the long run. I'm telling you, like everything, everything will work just fine. Anyway, I'm gonna I'm gonna um have some give you guys some final thoughts and then we'll wrap it up because uh I got some fucking homework to do. I'm tired and I gotta walk my dog because he's right here, and that's why he's my bitch. What's up? You gotta take me outside. Yeah. So we're gonna do some final thoughts, and that's gonna be that or that. Like, like I said, give yourself some fucking craze, you know. Aggression doesn't always need failure. Sometimes people are just hurting. Sometimes the motherfuckers is lost, no shape, but people be lost for real. Sometimes they have a face and social, you know. They are pretty denial about whatever's coming on, whatever situation it is the change that's happening for them. But evolution, evolution is awareness, evolution is accountability, evolution is choosing growth, even when it hurts, like you know, whether that's leaving people behind and you know what I'm saying, the one whatever. You just gotta choose you at the end of the day. Like, it's all about you, like minus his closed habit. Follow me. So yeah. With that, I'm gonna say remember glow getters. Everybody talks about the glow up, but not everybody talks about what it costs. This is City Virgil's Decodi, and I'll see y'all next episode.