How to Dip – When He Won’t Step Up, You Dip Out

When he starts slacking, it’s time to start packing. In this raw and unfiltered episode of City Girls Decoded, Morgan Chanel breaks down the art of knowing when to walk away. From “situationships” that drag on too long to partners who love potential more than progress, this one’s for every woman who’s ever had to choose peace over proving a point.

We’re getting into:
💔 The signs it’s time to dip
💬 Street Love Diaries – real talk about leaving dead weight behind
👑 Hood Love & Healing – finding your power and peace after the exit
🌟 Celebrity dips that had the timeline talking

And yes—Morgan’s new single “How to Dip” drops right in sync with this episode. Same message, same energy: block the number, delete the chat, and move on like a queen in the mist.

Chapters

• 0:00 Raw opener and episode theme
• 0:56 Listener story: doing it all alone
• 2:39 Song snippet and streaming push
• 3:35 Second listener story: convenience calls
• 4:19 Host’s breakup story and breakthrough
• 7:24 Red flags rundown starts
• 12:15 Growth, sabotage, and ignored signs
• 15:47 Disrespect, manipulation, and mail drama
• 18:31 Boundaries, exit plan, and healing steps
• 21:02 Q&A: money, cancellations, and guilt
• 24:04 Celebrity blueprint for “the dip”
• 29:12 Weekly challenge and final CTA

Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 0:47

What's up, City Girls? It's your girl back on City Girls Decoded, where we keep it real raw and uncut. Today we're talking about men who ain't shit. Yeah, I said it. The ones who don't show up, don't contribute, and somehow think you're gonna carry relationship while they sit back and watch Netflix. And listen, I've been in a situation before. I feel you. That's exactly why I had to write the new sequel, How to Dip. Dropping today, the sing the song, excuse me, is literally the anthem for texting your girls, planning your escape, and leaving him stuck watching his own tape, bitch. Because sometimes you gotta dip before you lose yourself. And real talk, there was a time I stayed with a motherfucker because I thought I could fix him. Spoiler alert. I couldn't. The experience inspired the hook of how to dip. So yeah, this one right here. This shit is fucking personal. Like, no shade. But anyway, y'all, it's about that time. You already know. She love diaries, real stories. You know when we get into real stories, sent them from listeners on my personal stories. And today I have a story from a listener. My first listener wrote in about her man who literally didn't do shit, didn't pay pills, didn't help emotionally, didn't plan a damn thing. She's out here handling everything while he sit back like he's the king of laziness. She said, Girl, I can't do this no more. Ladies, that's exactly the vibe how the dip is about. Like, get the fuck up out of there. It's time to go. That nigga is a bum. And it's time to zip on him. Get the fuck up out of there, sis. But um, I wanna play a little snippet of the song for y'all and let me know how y'all like it.

SPEAKER_00: 3:00

Oh, other than that.

SPEAKER_02: 3:13

How y'all like that? Y'all like it? If y'all like it, go download that. Yeah, go download that from Apple Music, Spotify, everywhere. You download music, play it on YouTube. Stream it up, stream it up, stream it up. Thank you so much. If you like it, if you don't, fuck you. And if you do, I love you. I love you. Yeah. But anyway, on to a next story from a listener. Another listener says, um, her dude only calls when he wants sex or money. Ciao. Meanwhile, she running herself ragged, making sure he eats, sleep, and look presentable. That's not love. Bitch, that's fucking freeloading. Step three. Text your girls, playing your escape, leave them, and blast how to dead while you doing that shit. Period. Now I'm sure y'all that some of y'all listeners are familiar with my story. If not, the reason I dip is because I was fucking with a nigga that was constant, I feel like he was constantly criticizing me, but never could cherry to him. Like, that motherfucker, mind you, he had a decent little job, but he would never go to work because he was always fucking drunk. Like, you know, so I'm basically paying, I'm paying my bills because he lived with me. Like, that nigga don't got shit, so he lived with me. I'm paying my bills, you know. And he swore up and down, he was just doing so much, and he was really that that nigga. And he wasn't. And it irritated the fuck out of my soul. And I finally had enough. And I dipped on that nigga. I put that nigga out, and I never looked the fuck back in. No shade. Like, like, real talk. I never felt better in my life. Like, I literally never felt better I feel like I'm doing things that I never thought I would do. I always dreamt of just recording music or you know, the podcast, like just doing things like the writing. Like, I that's things that I like to do. And I could never do that because I was always constantly fighting with a drunk motherfucker. It gave very much 1960s, husband drinking all day, come home, he wanna beat the wife. Like, that's what the fuck it gave. And I I'm like, yo, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. Like, I'm too much of a fucking bad bitch to be sitting around pulling up with shit with from from a nigga like you. Like, are you dumb? Are you fucking dumb? Yeah, so I dipped on that ass. And sis, let me tell you something. If that motherfucker ain't treating you like you the fucking prize, because guess what? You are a lot of these motherfuckers be uh a lot, especially nowadays, these niggas think that they the fucking prize. And I don't know it's because I don't know if it's because they was raised by single mothers. Y'all niggas ain't the fucking prize. Y'all niggas is fucking broken and ain't doing shit, but giving a bitch a fucking headache. Like, get the fuck out of here with that. Yeah, I just had to say that, y'all. I had to get that off my chest. I felt real, real that I think that was something that was really heavy on my chest this now. Like, you know, like yeah, but anyway, so this next segment, we're gonna talk about some red flags and some standards. And I want you bitches who like to ignore the red flags, I want you hoes to listen the fuck up. Cause this one is definitely for y'all. Like, if you find yourself zero with a nigga, and he has any one of these qualities, bitch, run for the hills, don't look back, don't come back, it's a rap. Girl, if he avoids responsibilities and leaves all the work to you, that's a red flag. That shit ain't normal. That nigga is a fucking freeloader. Push that nigga to the side. And I rather you know what? I'm not even a 50-50 girl because I just like kinda I'm like kind of old school like that. But I'd rather go 50-50 with a motherfucker than to just be sitting here taking care of a grown ass man. I can't, and I done that. I'm not doing that shit no more. Like, that shit is terrible. That shit is terrible. Like, I really want to know where the fuck you new niggas get that from. Where that shit come from. If you want to tell me, drop down in the motherfucking comments and let me know where that shit come from. Cause that shit is y'all gotta stop. If he is emotionally unavailable and only around when it's convenient for him, that nigga using you. He don't fuck with you like that.

SPEAKER_01: 8:50

That's a red flag. Cut that nigga over, sis. It's time to go. Bye bye.

SPEAKER_02: 9:02

It should be no way that you are only coming around when you need something from like like I thought a relationship at best was supposed to be 50-50, right? So like what like what do you what what what are we doing here? What are we doing here? Like, and honestly, if a nigga that's that's that's a major red flag right there. If a motherfucker is doing some shit, girl, that's not your man. That's your friend. Bitch. What's the bitch from baddies? That's your friend? That's your friend. That's not your man. None. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you. Number three, red flag. Talk, but doesn't that words are fucking cheap. Nigga, put some action behind that shit that you talking, you a grown ass man. Like, like let me see something. You know what I'm saying? Like, let me see something. You always talking about what you wanna do or what you gonna do when when when like when you gonna get up and do it. All you do is sit on your ass all day and talk shit. Like you don't even like pay you not paying no bills. You honestly you shouldn't have to complain about nothing because you're not paying no bills. Right? I'm fucking you, I'm cooking, cleaning. Like what do you like nigga? Who the fuck is you complaining about? Bitch. The audacity. Honestly, all a lot of you niggas nowadays all y'all be having is dick and fucking audacity, and it's a shame. It's a fucking shame. Like, get it together. Get it to f get it the fuck together. I'm tired of him. Anyway, number four refuses growth. If he won't level up with you, he's holding you back. My ex that nigga, he it's like he was scared. And let me tell you, so about two years ago, I decided that I wanted to, mind you, I've always been like into music, singing. I grew up in a church. Like I know people said that, but I really grew up singing in the church and the choir and things like that, and I always wanted to be like to make music. I love music. So I decided that I was going to start doing music, and I had recorded a single couple of years ago called Loves Don't Live Here. And I was post I was supposed to perform the song, and he came with me and and everything. He actually, you know, I'm not gonna lie, he paid for me to get my hair done and shit like that. Like, we get there, Nigel. He's drinking. Before we get there, he we get there, he's drinking more. You know, so it's about time for me to perform. He wanna act that songs. Oh, I'm going to the cars, what's coming on, hurry up from just acting crazy, and it kind of threw my vibe off. It was just like real hater vibes, and I couldn't believe he was acting like that. And that was a red flag that I ignored. I I shouldn't have. But now, you know what? I kind of regret it because like I feel like I was so I was young, you know, like I was like not young, but I was that was like a couple of years ago, right? Like if I would have been grinding for those couple of years and putting in the work that I'm planning on putting in now, like I probably would have been somewhere and doing something, you know what I'm saying? Something like big and major. But I let a bum ass nigga hold me back. And that shit ain't cool. I'll never do no shit like that again. I like I swear to god, I I I I I never will. Let's move on. That motherfucker is disrespectful, puts you down, dismisses your feelings. He a bitch ass nigga for one and for two, bitch, leave that nigga. Get the fuck out of here. Go on about your business because what type of nigga thrives off of putting his woman down. My thing is this, why if you being why you being so disrespectful? Like, why you trying to put me down? If I'm such a this and that and that and this, why you with that type of bitch? You know what I'm saying? So what the fuck do I say about you? I always when a nigga starts talking that shit, I'm like my nigga, but you sitting here with me. So what type of nigga are you? If I'm that type of bitch, what type of nigga are you? Like, and what type of bitch is your mother? Cause she raised you and you with this type of bitch. Get the fuck out of here. And let me tell you something. The nigga I was with him and his mother was one and the same. They was two ain't shit ass motherfuckers, like just bottom of the barrel, like scraping, shut shucking and surviving to like to just just just to to to to live. Like the the shit was it was it was it was terrible. But honestly, I'm so glad I'm out of that situation. I'm so glad, like, I'm not turning back. It's like like it's nothing else for me to I don't have no I don't need any closure. I feel like the door is closed. Honestly, it irritates me that that nigga still be having his mail sent to my house. And I told that motherfucker, yo, stop, change your address, why the fuck you don't live here? That shit irritates me. But you know what? I don't even want to give him the satisfaction of of of of like texting them no more and asking them again. Like, nigga, it's it's it's fine. Bitch. I put that shit right in the return us in the um box every time. Eventually they'll get they'll they'll get the picture. This motherfucker don't live here. So stop putting his mail in my mailbox. I don't know who the fuck this nigga is. Like Mariah Carey said, I don't know that person. I don't know who you are. So please stop putting his mail here because this person don't live here. So let's move on. Selfish pyarbizes his self over you constantly. Now, this might sound like weird, but I've never like that I like that would be so for me. If a motherfucker is selfish, we couldn't even, we wouldn't even, I wouldn't even have to be worried about the other red flags because that's one thing for me, it's a no non-negotiable. Like, cause I'm such a caring and giving person. You have to give, like, like, even like you gotta give, even if you ain't got it like that, you gotta be be willing to share. And that's one thing my ex, he was, he, he was willing, like, he he would share and he would do shit. Like, you know what I'm saying? He would like like he like when he had it, he would give it to me. So I really gotta give him his pops on that. But that nigga was a fucking loser and everything else. He completely failed in every other aspect of the relationship. So please. Anyway, number seven, lazy, literally lets nothing get done without you reminding that motherfucker. Girl, Zip. Go ahead. Like I said, like go about your business, mama's like, that nigga ain't he's not worth your time, like, especially if you got kids. Like, bitch, you just that's just an extra kid, no shade. Like, you gotta constantly tell that nigga do this. Didn't I come? Didn't I tell you to do this? Didn't I tell you to do that? Didn't I did like yo, what's up? You could be bad by yourself, you don't gotta keep constantly repeating yourself and asking a grown ass man to do this, and honestly, why should you be reminding any adult how to better themselves or what they should be doing as a fucking adult? Come on. Moving on. Lastly, that motherfucker is a manipulator, makes you feel guilty for wanting your needs met. That is a big red flag, and that is something that a lot of these motherfuckers do. These narcissistic pieces of shit, they love to prey on you and do shit like that. And that shit is like predatory behavior because you when you thinking like I feel like that's a c you making a conscious decision to make this person feel bad when you know damn well what you should be doing or what you should not be doing in a relationship. So if if if it's something I'm not gonna tolerate, like why are you making me feel bad? But let me violate you or violate your or or uh or overstep the boundaries with you in some type of way. Oh baby, it's it's over. Excuse me, these niggas be so hurt, like it be over, they be so mad because or because you telling them how to treat you. They want to treat you how the fuck they feel like they should treat you. Nah, nigga, you're gonna treat me how I deserve to be treated, how I'm telling you how to be how to treat how to treat me. It's not my fault. You may never dealt with a bitch like me before, but you're not gonna treat me like you do these other bitches. I'm not these other hoes. Respect me, nigga. Now y'all know I don't never want to talk shit about nobody without giving them some advice. So I'm gonna leave y'all with this. Set boundaries immediately, keep communication clear and firm. Surround yourself with supportive people. And every time you see these red flags, cue hearted. Play the song loud, feel the power. It's a reminder. You did when you when he won't step up. That's it. No apologies, no overthinking. Get the fuck out of the situation. Now we're gonna dive into her love and healing. And I want to get into the healing part because listen, leaving it just walking out the door, it's reclaiming your peace, your time, your life. And yes, it's things at first, but pain is temporary. Peace is forever. Here's how to heal step by step, bitch. Get it out your system, journal, scream in your car, cry in the shower, call your therapist. That's a big one. I know sometimes, especially in the black community, we don't like to talk to therapists and stuff like that, but that's really important. It's always important to talk to somebody who's qualified to give advice. You know, we talk to our homegirls and stuff like that, but a therapist, you can't always talk to your bestie about everything, and that leads me to the next to the next way to get it out of your system. Call your bestie, whatever it takes, don't just leave it bottled. Also, pour into yourself, work on your body, your mind, your bag. A man can leave, but your growing up can't take from can't be taken from you. That's real. What's meant for you is meant for you. Can't nobody take that from you. Stay surrounded by real ones. The people who clap when you win, the ones who check on you without needing anything back, those are the tribe. Those are your tribe. Lean into them heavy, like no shade. I my tribe is too deep. And my sister, Fatty, I call her whatever. And honestly, I don't even have to call her. She calls me. Like, if I ain't if I ain't calling a couple of days, she knows I'm you bitch, you good. Yeah, Fatty, I'm just a little down right now. But you know, I'll call you when I'm feeling when I'm feeling better. Everything is okay. Like, you know, just make sure and check on your strong friends. Check on your strong friends. And while you doing all this, play the anthem. Blast it. How did it? Every bar is a reminder that you are the prize. You don't need no nigga who's stuck on bare minimums. Philly beat, let it move through you. And remember, your energy is too expensive to be wasting with somebody who can't afford it. Stop playing games with these bum ass niggas. These bum ass motherfuckers, bitches, period. Like, real talk. So it's about that time I'll be getting to some Q ⁇ A for some listeners. I might have some listeners send me in some questions, and you know, I'm gonna give my honest responses and try to help them out as much as I can. Okay, so the first question comes in from a listener, and she asks, he hasn't stepped up financially. Should I leave? Girl, what type of question is this? Baby, if you're pulling double shifts and he can't even pull his weight, you're not in a partnership. You're in a parenthood and you already got one mama. You don't need another child. Step three, text your girls, plan your exit, and play out of it while you pack your bags. Alright, child, so the next question comes in from listen number two. And she asks, he always cancels plans and expects me to adjust. What do I do? Says, if he's canceling on you, he's showing you where you rank on his priority list. And trust me, you're not at the top. Stop making excuses for disrespect. Your time is gold. Protect it, protect you. Next time he cancels, tell our nigga not to even bother rescheduling. Cause you're booked and busy. Zip out. Okay, our last question comes in from a listener. And she asks, I'm feeling guilty for leaving. Bitch, what? He does nothing, but he does nothing. How do I handle that? That guilt you feel, that's not love. That's manipulation, bitch. Stop being fucking dumb. Cause you know what? One thing about it, that nigga, if you leave him today, bitch, tomorrow he gonna find an even dumber bitch. That's gonna do whatever he you what he need them to do. You know what I'm saying? And all the shit you wouldn't do. And guess what? That bitch ain't gonna complain about none of the shit that you complained about. So all that feeling bad, throw that shit out the window. He trained you to think staying is loyalty. Bitch, that shit that's dumb. It's fucking stupid. Get the fuck up out of there. Pack your bags, baby. Dip out on that nigga. But all you're really doing is holding yourself hostage. Free yourself. You don't owe nobody your misery. Like, why would you stay in a situation that makes you unhappy? And honestly, let me tell you, that's why I yo, that's why I left because I every day I would say, like, you know, such and such years old. I have so many years in front of me. I'm with this man. You know what I'm saying? Is this the is this the N or B or Like it can't be? I can't be dealing with this for the rest of my life, my 40s, 50s, 60s. Like, who the fuck wanted me dealing with that type of bullshit at that age? You know what I'm saying? And I know Mima and Pop Pop, they went through some things and and Mima stayed. And that's good and great for Mima, but I I'm not. I'm not. And I do but don't get me wrong. Now I do believe in because I always say it's it seems like nowadays, like people don't really want to fight for fight for for what's right, or fight for their relationships. I feel like everybody wants to be everybody wants to be, everybody wants a motherfucker to fight for them, but don't nobody want to fight to keep the relationship. I feel like two things could be true at the same time. Like motherfuckers could not be wanting to fight no more how they used to back in the day, but also at the same time, you don't gotta put up with shit from a motherfucker that ain't doing shit. Because you know one thing Papa did back in the day? He paid the bills, he made sure me mom was able to go to the beauty salon and you know saying at least once a month or once a week, or however they did it back in the day. Like, he made sure the kids was able to get new shoes for school and it was food in the refrigerator and things like that. Like, you noom niggas not doing none of that. All y'all doing is being freeloaders and bums. Step three, let that guilt go. Slide into your healing era and play how to dip loud enough that he hears you leaving. Yeah. So y'all know my guilty pleasure is celebrity gossip. So before we close out the show, I'm gonna talk about some celebrities who dip. Because the famous ones dip too. Money, fame, spotlight, doesn't matter. If he ain't stepping up, the exit door looks the same. And sometimes celebrities give us the blueprint for dipping. What's that? Let's start with Sierra. Sierra dip from future, real quick. That man couldn't keep it together, and she said, nah, I'm good. What happened after? She leveled up into a whole marriage with Russell Wilson, a man who shows up for her and her son. That's what I call a successful dip. Leaving the chaos and walking into peace. That's all that matters. Because you know what? And the craziest, yo, Future try to act like he was so unbothered. I know you was because one thing I know you was mad. Because one thing you niggas hate is for a bitch to level up. When you especially, especially, I'm pretty sure Future looked like the type of nigga that was telling her, Oh, you ain't gonna never get a nigga like me. You gonna never find no nigga better than me. T. Fucked around and found out. City girls, that's proof right there. Sometimes the man you love ain't the man you can build with. Dip out and watch how God and the universe, or whoever you believe in, drop somebody ten times better into your lap. And that right there is real talk. Cuz whatever one motherfucker won't do, there are ten motherfuckers that will. Okay, so let me give y'all another example. Courtney Kardashian and Scott Dissick. She dipped onto Travis Barker. Remember? Let's talk about Courtney. Scott gave her. Years a mess cheating, drinking, and being unfucking reliable. Typical nigga. Even though he ain't a nigga, but y'all know what I mean. And she stuck it out longer than she should have, but eventually she did. And look at her now. Married to Travis Barker, being adored publicly, treated like a queen. Sometimes a dip takes a while, but when you do it, your whole world changes. City girls. Don't waste 10 years like Courtney did. But do know this. When you finally dip, the globe hits different. I'm telling you. You it's like you feel like a whole different woman. Like you could not. And then when you look back on the shit that you tolerated or what you was going through, you just be like, ew, who's that girl? Because that's how I feel now. Baby, can't nobody tell me nothing, bitch. I look the fuck good. I'm losing weight. Like I'm thriving at this point in my life because I don't have I'm not carrying that dead weight along with alongside me anymore. And it feels amazing. Example number three. Arianna Grande and Dalton Gomez. Arianna just dipped on Dalton Baby. Her real estate hubby. It wasn't working. Different lifestyles, different values, whatever. She dipped out. Got with Ether Slater and Baby, whether you agree with it or not, Arianna said, My happiness matters. You may not approve of who someone dips into, but the important part is that they dipped out of whatever wasn't serving them. And that's all that motherfucking matters. One thing about it, and two things for sure, it's about your happiness, no one else's. Now I can keep going. I can give you another example. My girl Sweetie and Quavo. Now, sweetie, my girl gave us an iconic tip. When Quavo got caught up with disrespect and cheating rumors, she didn't cry out on the timeline, didn't beg. She just tweeted, I'm single, and kept it moving. That's how you dip. Clean, public, and not looking back. A real icy girl. Sometimes the dip doesn't need to be messy. It just needs action. Now this next queen, she's the OG of how to dip. And listen, we gotta give J-Lo her flowers. She's the queen of the dip. Ben Affleck the first time. Mark Anthony, A-Rod. Sis will dip quick when it's not giving what it needs to get. And whether you like her choices or not, one thing J Lo don't do is stay stuck. Say what you want about her. But J Lo don't waste her time, and neither should you. Now y'all know I gotta bring up Porsche Williams, baby. When I say dip, Portia is in the Hall of Fame for this one. She dipped out of her engagement with Dennis, the hot dog king, and slipped right into a whole marriage with Simon. And let's be real, it was controversial. People had a lot of say because Simon was still tied up with another real housewife at the time. But Porsche said, Listen, I'm choosing what works for me. Now, whether you agree with how she did it or not, she made a decision that fits her. And that's what dipping is really about. Doing what feels right for you in the moment. The difference between Porsche and a lot of women, she didn't stay stuck in a situation that wasn't given. She made her own move unapologetically. City girls, keep it real. Sometimes the dip is messy, sometimes it comes with headline, side eyes, but at the end of the day, only you live your life. Porsche dip for her own happiness. And that's the message. Don't let nobody shame you out of choosing what you want. And with that being said, City Girls, celebrities do it too. Regular people do it. What matters is knowing your worth and refusing to sit in a situation where you're giving more than you're getting. Because at the end of the day, dipping isn't just about leaving. It's about choosing you. And if the rich and the famous can dip, bitch, so can you. Alright, City Girls, before we close out, here's your challenge for the week. Identify one place in your life where you're carrying all the weight in a relationship. Whether it be friendship, even family, romantic, whatever. Then ask yourself, if they ain't stepping up, how do you step three? That's right. Text your girls and plan your escape and make how to dip your anthem while you do it. Because Helen isn't just leaving somebody, it's choosing you every single time. And then when you do that, baby, you never lose. And that's real talk. I want to thank you guys for tuning in tonight. Also, I want to remind you to make sure you stream how to dip on all platforms and follow us on social media, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, everywhere. At City Girls Decoded. And I love you guys so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.